I See You

 

I see you in 2012-2013

I see you in the roses in the meadows that grow near my house
I see you in the sun
I see you in March when you came into my life
And I see you in April when you left.
I see you in poetry books
I see you in every charmer
I see you in every gentleman
I see you in your navy blue dressing gown.
I see you in every Runaway Joe
I see your lips on the nape of my neck
I see you with words
I see you on the grass listening to Beethoven
the sun on your face.
I see you every time I watch Batman
I see you in every blade of grass
I see you on Skype
I see you in every set of blue eyes
I see you at your desk staring out of the window
I see you in robots and heavy metal music
I see you in my Lego ring
I see you from Twickenham to Whitton.
I see you in Old House
I see you in your suit and tie
I see you in Dom.
I see you when I’m drunk
I see you in the Midlands
I see you in Watsky
I see you in the colour red
I see you in texts
I see you in passing ships
I see you in northern accents
I see you in gravy and chips.
I see you in every cup of English tea
I see you on the bus back from Varsity.
I see you drunk, walking, holding my hand
I see your fingers interlocking with mine
I see you in every tall man.
I see you in Kingston
I see you on top of me when it’s him
I see you in Spring.
I see you in every hello
but every goodbye.
I see you in your long black coat
I see you in every spoken word poet
I see you in every hug debt
I see you on SnapChat.
I see you in animated movies
I see you in gargoyles
And pictures of demons
I see you in funny youtube videos.
I see you in Rives
And I see you in the sunflower he spoke of.
I see you in every thumb war
I see you in every love bite
I see you on Strawberry Hill
And I love you still.

When You Said You Could Not Stay

And all the words you ever said,

They all reside inside my head.

The promises you made,

The memories

They fade.

The songs we did not play,

The kisses gone to waste

When you said you could not stay.

-Tina Rose

I can still feel your arms even now

Maybe I wouldn’t be so messed up in the head

If we’d never met,

Knowing that night I should have left,

But I clung to your bed

With my head on your chest.

I can still feel your arms,

Even now.

-Tina Rose

The Breaths She Took

 

And in wishing to be loved by him,

She forgot about all the people

That did love her

That did want her.

The hearts she stole

And shattered

Without meaning to.

The breaths she took,

The tears she left.

She was so blinded

in search for him,

That she saw no other.

-Tina Rose

The Demon

He had the devil in his soul

And a demon curled into

The corner of his smile,

With empty eyes

And with hell in his heart

He kissed me.

-Tina Rose

You told me you didn’t love her

I learnt to move on. You have to in the end don’t you? Even if it takes months or years. I refused to wake up as a thirty year old woman and still be in love with you.

                              –
But for the rest of my life I will wonder what came of you, and how you could look at her in exactly the same way that you used to look at me.

I can’t forget the look on your face when you told me you didn’t love her.

-Tina Rose

The Devil’s Daughter

Rebel heart of black and red

With one look she’d kiss you dead

Love you, fuck you, then she’s fled

Into the night

With no tears shed.

The girl in her reckless red

dress and her Satan

smile

The devil’s child.

-Tina Rose

His Eyes Were Cold

But your chapter in my life is at an end,

But I promise to miss you until we meet again.

And when they ask,

I’ll say it was not love, but it could have been.

I’ll say your eyes were cold

And mine too warm.

-Tina Rose

In Another Life

I missed you before we even met

And we loved each other,

Once before, in another life, we said.

You were so familiar to me,

You were pain

and tears

and laughter

And happily ever after

In another time,

Another existence.

I can still see your face,

Even now.

-Tina Rose

Monday Mornings

You reminded me of a Monday morning cigarette break

That between awake and asleep

Feeling

Wishing

the day away

With my rolled-up heart

Charred around the edges

 Wishing for white sheets and plump pillows

But lusting for the blackness

That came with your presence.

Your kiss with its darkness

And your charcoal throat

The same warmth

that arrived with a raspy inhalation

of smoke through nose to chest,

My tar lungs and cigarette breath.

Burnt out amber

Of orange and black  

Sparks against pavement

The miniature fireworks

Under my fake Laboutin shoe.

You were my

Narcotic, Insomniac Addiction

Darling, Come Monday morning

I thought of you.

-Tina Rose