With you,
I didn’t write for a whole year Because I was so happy
La la la In pretty dresses
My Sunday best
Your arms wrapped around me like a fuzzy cocoon
I didn’t want to wake up.
I wrap myself in blankets now
I traded dresses for trousers
I don’t wear much makeup anymore
I am starting to think it was all for you
Perhaps it’s all just a transaction in the end
But maybe now
I will make my own cocoon
And I will stop waking up at 3am
wondering how a pillow replaced your chest.
My life with you was a rollercoaster ride
I did not want to get off
I was used to the rise and fall in my tummy
Used to the chaos you brought
Used to the mess you left
There were nights when I was tucked into him
peaceful, quiet, safe,
Where I longed for your fast paced kiss.
By night, the map of your body
is like the warmth of sunlight on my hands.
I swear
I could,
with dancing fingertips
trace your outline continuously
Until insanity
came for me.
In my darkest hour
I always felt you near
Although I cannot see you
I know that you are here.
I am convinced I had not known pure joy until I met you.
Of course, I had felt sunbeams on my face and seen beauty in sunsets and the sound of the ocean. Heard a baby’s laugh and slept in someone’s arms that I loved. Seen snowflakes and sunrises and many wondrous things. But I would have given up all pleasures of the world for you. It is not a secret that you will never stop dazzling me. I had never known beauty until you and I would not be surprised if I lived my whole life and never found wonder again.
The morning I left, I left you in bed
with a coffee-stained love note.
My shirt, only half tucked in,
My hair only half done, a loose bun,
but I was halfway out the door
with one shoe on and a triangle of toast
dangling from my cherry red lips.
How I did not kiss you goodbye in fear of branding you bloody
How whilst on my early commute to work
I wished I had.
tinarosepoetry 