The End of a Conversation

“12 poems, 7 stories. Their final dispatch. That’s all we could recover, all we could salvage from the ocean.”“Fewer than last time.”“From the green canopy they flew, to tell us that Heaven is silent.”“…I’ve had it up to here with these impenetrable ‘musings’ of yours… So tangled… all to disguise the fact that you have little of substance to say. Ah, forget it. The pieces — are they any good?”
“You’ll see.”


Very happy to say that my poem ‘Wanderlust’ has been published in a little Anthology, now available on Amazon for £6.00:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/End-Conversation-Durham-Creative-Writing/dp/1699638802/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3I57XH05T73UW&keywords=the+end+of+a+conversation&qid=1573404664&s=books&sprefix=the+end+of+a+%2Cstripbooks%2C134&sr=1-1
All proceeds go to the charity WWF. A charity close to my heart! WWF work to undertake vital work to protect some of the world’s most vulnerable animals, places and people, tackle climate change and address the unsustainable consumption of precious natural resources. Please check them out at: WW.WWF.ORG

SHE DANCED

My talented friend, Fiona Howe, kindly sent me a copy of her new novel SHE DANCED for me to review.

As a writer and musician, Fiona Howe has long been fascinated by the interplay between words and music. Her professional background is in film and television. Having worked initially in production and script editing at the BBC and ITV, then as a screenplay writer for a number of European networks, she founded her own production company Scenario Films for whom she has produced, and composed the music for, an award-nominated trilogy of feature films, DESIRE, DELIGHT and DELIRIUM. She also produces film training programme Babylon, now in its tenth annual edition. A classical pianist and flautist with a BA in English Literature, she is also a singer-songwriter, having released her début album MERMAID’S WORK in 2016.

You can find my review below! She Danced is available on Amazon in both paperback (£8.99) and kindle (£3.99).

Wow. An evocative piece of genius filled with extremely intelligent writing. I was hooked from the start as the author delves straight into the world of Mia with all of her complexities as she collides with Tom, an equally complex, but difficult character. There are strong thematic links you have to unpick and unravel and the storyline makes you really think; the interplay between love and desire and infatuation (the problematic nature of lust), secrets and family tensions, all with music and the urge to create at the beating heart of the novel. This was a fantastic read, well written, with a strong, emotional story line and diverse characters who are unnervingly relatable. This book is sitting proudly on my bookshelf and highly recommended if you are searching for a new haunting and powerful read. I look forward to further works from the talented Fiona Howe- New favourite author!”

You can order at this link. Please find a book synopsis below:

SHE DANCED tells the story of a successful, happily married woman whose certainties are upended by a chance encounter with a young musician living rough on the streets. Mia apparently has it all. Attractive, happily married, a successful film producer in her own right. But on the night she wins an award for her husband’s controversial documentary, her path collides with someone who will change her life forever. Singer-songwriter Tom is lost for love, betrayed by the object of his desire, Cleopatra, a ravishing but whorish singer with ambitions that won’t let anyone get in her way. Goaded beyond endurance, Tom walks out of her life and onto the streets where he has been living rough for three months. Mia passes Tom playing his heart out, barefoot and bleeding amidst the evening crowds, and gives him money for shelter. It might just have been an act of charity. He’s young enough to be her son. She’s on a roll, the production company she’s built up for so many years with her husband Stephen has achieved its first major success, and impulsively she wants to share her good fortune. Perhaps it’s also an act of atonement for her feelings about her daughter Lottie, whom she has idolised and sacrificed so much of her career to bring up, and whose sexual ambiguity makes her uncomfortable, stirring up feelings she was unaware of having buried. Her unease is transferred onto the young homeless man, whom she offers a room in her house, touched by his playing and his mysterious circumstances. Her unorthodox rescue mission sparks hostility from both Stephen and Lottie, and after seeing Tom through a spell in hospital she secretly rents him a flat, making him the subject of a new music documentary. Tom is handsome but weak, a moth-to-the-flame even as he charms those around him, and somehow Mia is falling under his spell without admitting it to herself. However, she has reckoned without the unscrupulous methods of her ingenious daughter to keep them apart.Alternating Mia and Tom’s emotional perpectives, She Danced explores the simultaneously transcendent and debasing power of infatuation, and the struggle to create. It’s a London novel, straddling west and east, bringing two cities, two generations into collision, a deconstruction of the politics of marriage between work-partners, a mother-daughter story, of deceit, duplicity and desire in the digital age. 

She was Everything

She was a lilac sky

Mysterious; unforgiving

She was a pink sky

Warm and giving

She was a yellow sky

bright and waiting

She was an orange sky

Bold and waning

She was a red sky

Lustful; wanting

She was a black sky

Cruel and dreamy

She was a green sky

A Strange, strange beauty

She was a blue sky

Moody; held onto heartbreak like a trophy

I was everything,

a kalleidescope of colours, feelings, emotions

They never know if they are coming or going, Just

Watch the colours bleed atop this flesh of white,

Just watch as he runs as he says:

that girl is too much, that girl is too much.

The Italian Tree

The August heat came with love and chance

A melodic butterfly gasoir dance

And stolen kisses underneath that old tree

The sapling brought from Italy

The one which grew up with me.

Ah, this old, crooked, strange tree 

My mother loved to tell this story

how it could live for thousands of years

but would only ever bear fruit once.

What a gift it would be, in this lifetime

How wonderful, if the universe, aligned 

In chance, in beauty, in laughter.

And like a bumblebee to lavender

That Summer the fruit came and so did you, to me

Your mouth on my mouth under the Italian tree

Orange fruit, sweet, and we

Two love birds perched underneath.

The Wolves They Came In Packs

When the wolf fell in love with the girl.

When the leader of the wolf gang looks your way in

worn out leather and faded tattoos

Believe him when he says he is no good, he had lived longer than you

Ah but his smile, that jawline, his hands on the small of your back

You felt safe for the first time in your life, really, despite the bad. 

He always smelt like hard whisky and smoke

Handsome with age

Hardened with age 

You wouldn’t cross him

If only by mistake like the time you smiled at that man across the bar

But you knew this whisky wolf loved you, really

He would scream it at you all the time, he’d steal flowers from the cemetery too, See I can be Romantic, he’d say, 

absent mother, abusive father, you never once saw him cry

You remember the wind in your hair, wild motorbike rides, 

Dancing on bars 

and tequila shots backwards, 

That time you were so drunk you nearly got his name tattooed, 

It almost felt end game, in bed, your head on his chest

the first time he told you he loved you,

The first time you told him you didn’t. 

That Hollywood Girl

They say she was born with a Marilyn Monroe fate

And many a handsome James dean came her way

How she was always ready with a flash of a 

Californian girl smile and a Hollywood laugh

Dressed up to the nines, pin-up girl thighs,

With that Dita Von Teese show girl vibe.

Well,

What’s a girl to do?

Why

Break their pretty red hearts in two.

Wanderlust

I fell in love

with a nightingale

He took my heart

And flew away

Do not fall in love 

with a nightingale 

They cannot stay

For this you pay

Its the wind 

you see?

It calls them still

It whispers:

Fly away from her

She will never do you good

A home girl and a Wanderer 

will always be apart

So take off now just be a man

Don’t mind her broken heart

The nightingale must fly away

There are so many things to see

I know you want to look at her

But think of Paris, Spain and Italy 

So fly off now don’t be afraid

Her face, it soon will fade

Just remember it is yours, the sky

and soar soar soar 

up high.

Your Rollercoaster Girl

Spoken Word Poetry

I think you were waiting for me to tell you that you were off the hook three years of your life wasted the sigh of relief at breaking the contract the oath of the long haul smashed my heart in pieces and ate the soft centre the look of surprise as though you were unaware there would be sharp edges blood dripping from your mouth onto our white pillows the ones we bought in the Zara home sale will you still remember my name five years from now and my lollipop tongue will you miss my smell my laugh and think of me sometimes like pepper spray to the eyes it will hurt like the pain I felt when you left remember the Ikea furniture flat pack all over our living room floor there is still a pink stain on the wall from the wine glass I smashed in a temper tantrum like a child I throw things and like an adult you walk away from me but difference is you don’t come back I leave the mark there for proof that I did not imagine our love that felt like forever but turned into regret what do you do when it is painful to stay and painful to go I think I will sit here and wait I think you will walk as fast as you can away from that rollercoaster girl.